The World I Know

by: Collective Soul

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.

I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.
Are we listening
To hymns of offering?
Have we eyes to see
That love is gathering?
All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding Into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.

untitled

When I was a child, I used to think that we are very poor. I always hear my mother say that we should be thrifty because we don't have money. She used to buy me the cheapest notebook, intermediate pad and school supplies and stuff like that, which she bought in the bookstore she works at that time. I didn't experience to have disney character shoes, notebooks, stuff toys, pencil case which my classmates have. Its not that I'm envious of those material things, but I manage to understand that we can't afford those. And so I believe that life is hard at an early age. We seldom go out to grocer for food, and if we did, a one thousand budget is all we have. We didn't lavish ourselves for an abundant meals, but we indulge ourselves watching cinemas, eating budget meals, strolling and window shopping. Which I thought was everything we could do and afford.

But as I grow older and understand what life is all about. I was kinda deceived. What I have perceived as a child seems to be false when I grow up. Well living is still hard, esp. when everything you see keeps rising. But its not as hard as I thought. Or maybe my lifestyle is more comfortable than my mother's or what we used to have? I don't know how she spends money thinking that my father is working abroad and she receives remittance (though its not that much). We don't have rent to pay, no tuition fees, and just minimum consumption of electricity and water bills. But all that seems to be very hard for us. I just wonder why?

And now that I'm working and at the right age. Getting hold of my own money and budgeting (oh well, have I learned to budget) haha. All I enjoy recently is how to spend. But anyways, I love spending money. It feels great. haha. Money haven't eaten my pride and principles. I won't allow myself be overpowered by it. I learn how to enjoy what I have and not keep it like everyone does. Cuz its lonely if you keep all your money and live so thrifty at all times. When you instantly die unexpectedly you'll not be able to make use of it. You can't use your savings. You didn't enjoy your lilfe. You didn't know what life is all about. Sometimes people forget to enjoy. They completely forget the reason why they work. They need to spend a great time also. Yes, I''l be saving some too for the future but let us not forget to LIVE our LIFE. That's the most important thing.

But now living my own life seems not as hard as what I have learned through her. Living life is hard if you think it is. But on the positive attitude I think its not. My mother is a pessimist. And I'm an optimist. That's why we always clash on different point of views. Everything seems to be complicated and harder for her. When I always think on the brighter side of all things. I think living in the right attitude is better than dwelling on the pain and difficulties that you are experiencing. Saying always "Wala akong pera." seems to become reality if you think about it. and being problematic always and not thinking of the solution or ways how to solve everything would make you miserable. Lets just LIVE LOVE AND LAUGH. haha.

"Money is not everything."


I believe that money can't buy everything in this world. Its just an instrument. But when caught in a loose, it can change a person into something he is not. But I personally salute those people with or without money they remain the same.


Money is the source of greediness, discontentment, fear, power, and crime. Everyone aims to have money to gain power and to be on top of everyone else. But does it truly satisfy the thirst and hunger? and above all what satisfaction does it give if you have already become a monster of your own greed?

Just Have Faith

I'm not the religious type of person. I was born Roman Catholic as inherited. I go to church on Sundays when I was in High School, then after the mass we stroll at SM North Edsa. It was I think became a routine in our family. It is how my brother and I were encouraged by my parents to attend mass every Sunday (which we mutually liked actually).

I have a different view on 'religion' as opposed to my mother. It was a kind of orientation I grew up with. Since I entered kinder I never had a 'religion class' neither did I have 'values education.' It is a common joke to my schoolmates when asked about 'values' we'd always say, 'wala kaming values e." (we don't have values.) Its not that we don't have values per se, but we don't have the subject as part of our curriculum. I'd always say, "Hay naku, tinawag ko na nga lahat ng santong kilala ko dahil sa sobrang hirap at sakit." (Haay, I even called all the Saints I knew for its hard and painful). It is actually an expression or more of an exaggeration. But surprised of what I just have said. I stopped, and realized that I don't know the names of the saints. If I were to blame who for not knowing all the saints. I might question the UPIS Curriculum or the UP Administration. But what the heck, I'd already answered that a long time ago. "Better leave the teachings of God to the proper authority. And leave the teachings of knowledge of mankind to the educators of universities as the instruments of God."

I was brought up in a different kind of environment, different orientation, more liberal, more radical, more of an 'atheist' outsiders might think. But its not. We weren't, and we aren't atheists. We have the freedom to choose what to believe in, and freedom not to. And ones you already knew what to believe in, it is stronger and more than powerful. Because it is your own choice. And it is not forced on you to believe something that you don't. It is FAITH.

I have my own faith.

I believe in God.

I pray.


When I was in College, I have broken our family Sunday routine. I was mostly out. I didn't like the way my mother thinks of herself being blessed every Sunday having mass thrice or more. But little she knew she doesn't apply the teachings learned at Sunday school. She mostly commits sins and forget the values taught in church. The reason? She has stronger ties with the church than me who doesn't.

I then rarely attend church since then.

I don' t religiously attend mass, or hear the teachings of God. But I have my own faith. I believe that the most important thing that one should know is to be good and do good to people around you. Corny it may seem but my pattern in life is the teachings of Confucius, 'the golden rule.' I believe in the law of Karma, though its a Buddhist teaching. But I find it reasonable and logical. There's a good karma for a good deed and a bad karma for a bad deed.

When there's something I want, I pray hard for it. I believe that when I sincerely pray and ask for it, how impossible it may be. He'll hear me. He'll find a way. And God always has a way.

And I can say prayer really works. I've tested it several times and it didn't fail me. I believe in God. I trust God. And I surrender to Him. Just have faith.

Hindi ako Arsonista (I'm not an arsonist)

I'm not an arsonist. It was an honest mistake. An accident. My absentmindedness struck again. I almost burned a section of our backyard. A pile of plastic garbage which I segregated was burnt down including the plastic pot and half part of the small plastic table. Geez. I was at my computer writing when i smelled something plastic burning. i thought it was my computer overheating but when i went to the kitchen to check things out. i saw something smoking outside the closed glass window. And there it was everything was aflame. My initial reaction was to put the fire out by splashing a pail of water (which was already available a couple of step from it). The flame instantly died down. With no further ado I picked up everything to hide my crime. But unfortunately it was damn obvious. Everything was burnt and the yellow paint of our wall was also burnt. I had to confess about it and accept my fault. Whatever it takes. It was my fault and no one else to blame but me. (Right now I had it hidden in the trunk of the car and throw it when the garbage collector arrives). Whew. It was a lesson learned not to overestimate the capacity of a hairline of coal pretending to have died...

"The smallest thing is the ones to be afraid of, for its ability is not apparently seen."

Tell me that you love me

There's this song I like and everytime I hear it played, I'd always ask what the title was. I keep forgetting. But anyway here it is, Tell Me That You Love Me by Terri Gibbs

So far away on a cold, lonely night
If I could only hear your voice, then I'd be alright
Tell me that you love me,
Tell me that you care
I just want to hear your voice
Come floating through the air
Telephones are lonely
Tell me you're alright
I just want to feel you near
When I lay down tonight.
I'd give anything to see your face
Just to share the silence of your eyes
Your love is something no one can replace
While I'm gone I don't want you to cry Please don't cry.
Tell me that you love me, Tell me you're okay
Telephones are lonely
It sounds so far away
Tell me that you need me
Tell me it's alright
I just want to hear your voice
When I lay down tonight.
I'd give anything to taste your kiss
Just to feel your body touching mine
It hurts me to be wanting you like this
So tell me that you love me one more time
One more time... Tell me that you love me
Tell me you're alone
I just want to hear your voice
I'm so far from home
Tell me that you love me,
Tell me that you care
I just want to hear your voice
Come floating through the air.
Tell me that you love me,
Tell me that you care
I just want to hear your voice
Come floating through the air
Telephones are lonely
Tell me you're alright
I just want to feel you near
When I lay down tonight.


This song is really lonely...Its a real bummer. I'm imagining myself to be in that situation faraway from home, from your loved one and there's nothing you can do. It really breaks my heart.