Don't Cry Out Loud

A few years past when I was in deep sorrow and there's no way to release what I'm feel inside. I fell asleep crying, soaking my pillow in tears. I had a habit of listening to the radio when I sleep. In the middle of he night still wary about my suppressed emotion, a song woke me up. I don't know the title but twas a familiar love song. I easily remembered the lyrics because it is how i felt that time. The song is "Don't Cry Out Loud" by Melissa Manchester, the song goes like this.

Don't Cry Out Loud

Baby cried the day the circus came to town
'cause she didn't want parades just passin' by her
So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown
While she danced without a net upon the wire
I know a lot about 'er 'cause you see
Baby is an awful lot like me

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all

Baby saw that when they pulled that big top down
They left behind her dreams among the litter
The different kind of love she thought she'd found
There was nothin' left but sawdust and some glitter
But baby can't be broken 'cause you see
She had the finest teacher-that was me-I told 'er

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high ang proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost made it

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all

end


No one would listen and understand the feeling...
I learned not to cry out loud, and keep it inside. I learned how to hide my feelings. And the feeling is sooo miserable, the pain is literally lacerating my insides. The only consolation I got was,

Fly high and proud,
And if you should fall,

remember I almost had it all.

I was left in misery emptiness, loneliness, and in an dreadful pain.
It was the hardest emotion I thought I wouldn't comprehend and overcome. Until I fell numb all over... I promised myself this would be the last. I hate this feeling, this pain, this nightmare...I said to myself this is it. I won't allow this to happen again. To recur the feeling, the emotion, the pain. Or else I will be permanently paralyzed...and yet...seems like promises are again meant to be broken....